Too Late, For Nothing.

I don't care if no one is listening to me, but can't you listen to my heart?
just this once.
When I saw it with my own eyes, the answer to my question... I'm too late

That fact that being totally wrong and having an awkward relationship aftetwards.. I just couldn't do that.

I can't say much, because this subject is very touchy with me. If one courious person hears what I have to say... I would die
Its just not possible is it?

no matter how much I try, no matter who much love I put into it... nothing ever changes. I think it's amazing on how one thing can make me depressed.
All I want is time. Time alone with someone, I don't care who. I want to just sleep forever and never wake up.

Because I know that in my dreams, anything is possible.
Manic this, Depression that, Bipolar all around I don't fucking care!

why do I have to be so different? WHY.
I don't want sympathy, I just want someone to be there for me. They don't even have to say anything, just let me know that someone is there and truly cares.
many would say, oh so many people care about you amber... but this isn't everyone I'm looking for.
The only person I'm looking for is you.. I'm confused on who that is at the moment, but I'll pull through.

I have my boundaries though. I just hope you can understand that.

How many times should I say this?
I am: shy, paranoid, happy, sad, depressed, wanting, lustful, loving, thankful, hoping that one day, it will all just fade away. I don't care what anyone else thinks on how I feel.

Once I have felt a connection with someone... I can never let you go
it seems really hard for me.