The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me

It's quiet now. I can't hear anyone and no one is there to respond.
This is happening so slowly, but yet it is going too fast for my own good.
Just tell me you are there. That's all I need to know. Whisper something subtle and sweet.

Our time is coming and I can feel it.
I will be the first and I will be the last, it is a lot of pressure but I know I must.
But in the end I know my family will be proud of me for getting this far.
Their love means the world to me, and I know I don't have to worry about letting them down.
When they see me walk across that stage and she says, "We did it, we finally did it. And she is staying"
That is when I know I've done my job, then I can go on my own from there.

I do feel like I'm losing you, but I can understand why it has turned out like this. You know it won't be easy for me to let go, and I respect that.
God damn I wish I could say this.