Blindfolded

It might not seem like I'm hiding to others, but I really am inside.
Today I feel a sense of depression. I think it's because I've had two days to think about things.

I just need some time alone. Time.. yeahh that sounds good.
or just spend time with strangers. something new.
Go to a big city and just stand in the middle of the traffic of people. Look up and see what everyone else sees.
I have this urge to get out and live. Sometimes I think I have all I need and my mind is fine where it is... but then times like these, I don't know what I need anymore.

I've talked so much, held so much in I don't know what to do with it anymore.
The main reason I don't want people to read this is because they might think I'm complaining.. 'oh yeah amber has a great life, why should she be sad? a lot of people care for her and everything, great family, great friends...'

But its just not that simple.
I'm not as perfect as you see me as. Well I know you dan know I'm not perfect. lol

I have been "talking" to someone every time I write these notes. Even now I am speaking for anyone who is willing to hear.
Secrets have been kept and are ready to live.
I have room for one more to listen. just one.
I don't see how much you really see me. But all I know is that I have been here for as long as I can remember. And I'm all dusty. Ready and willing to help and be remembered.

I don't hate life. Or want to die.
Or hurt myself. Or even ruin my relationships.

I just need some room for something new. but that has yet to come when I desired it to.