It's Just The Beginning

So lately I've been really thinking about what I want to do after high school, and then after college.

The one thing that I would die to do for a living is act.
I just want to feel and see what it’s like for actresses, like the ones I really look up to.

But part of me says that I shouldn't bother because there are sooo many people who want to "be an actress"
And there are a lot of talents out there. I love hearing the stories of famous actors when they started from a small town or sold everything, etc.

I just don't think I could do it.
Now it’s not like high school really matters really? Well of course for jobs and college, but for acting...
Even Oscar winning actors didn't get casted in their high school play, or just played a cook in a musical.

There just aren’t enough resources to convince me. I've been told that I am good at acting, but that's just friends. I would like to talk to someone who knows what they are doing and does it for a living... but I can never find someone like that in Maryland.
That’s why I need to get out of here! I have no money to go to NY or LA or any other place.

And it really gets to me when I can't go off to a college in a different state.
Even my doctor said it's not a good idea.

WTF?! You know what I really need to do?

Get the hell out of here. I can't live like this forever. I need to start over, make a new life.
Become an Adult. That’s the point I can't wait for, but growing up means a lot.
And to tell you the truth, I can't remember my younger years. At all.

Only bits and pieces that I don't want in my head; I put it all in my past.