Too Much, Too Soon

Too much, Too soon.

All this commotion coming forward

Never gets the best of me.

Only when I’m around you,

That someone who I would like to know

And care for as much as I know I can.

The others just don’t see what I see.

They never did, so I did things to make that happen.

And those ideas never came out the way I planned.

They never do.

I put my hand out for you

Just so I know what it feels like

To be loved by you as much as you do to them.

It comes out so rapidly

That I forget to think

About exactly what is at hand.

This feeling inside tells me to hold it all back.

But I have had enough of hiding and holding back.

I want to live and show others who I am.

Only a few know the real me.

I will keep it that way because I never liked me.

I don’t say that in the way you think I do.

What I mean is this urge to explain

Always makes it worse.

That is what I need to work on.

I hate saying that I don’t like me.

That isn’t true.

It’s just that I’m not ready;

For other people to see and hear

What I really think.

My mind is open for all

But my voice is not.

In the end I need to express my ideas and opinions.

Create a voice for myself.

Although, when I finally open up to some

It always tends to backfire.

Too much too soon.

Anxiety & paranoia -> welcome to my life.